Uzumaki Naruto and the Sorcerer’s Stone
by it'sacloudyday
Summary: What if Naruto was Harry Potter and is destined to fight Voldemorochimaru? What awaits this young ninja/wizard?
1. Chapter 1

**Uzumaki Naruto and the Sorcerer's Stone**

What if Naruto was Harry Potter and is destined to fight Voldemorochimaru? What awaits this young ninja/wizard?

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter.

I am no Kishimoto Masaahi or J.K Rowling

They BOTH own this. I'm just here to write it.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Chapter 1

**The Ninja Who Lived**

Mr. and Mrs Dursley were just like any other ninja in Konoha except that they had this one secret. It was their deepest, darkest secret—

"Who's there?" Naruto asked from the cupboard. "I said, who's there?"

Stop interrupting me, will you? Ahem, as I continu—

"Who the hell is that narrating voice?! Are you Orochimaru?!"

Shut up, go back to sleep!

"Alright, fine."

As I was saying, Mr. and Mrs. Dursley had this deep, dark secret. And their greatest fear was that someone would discover it. They wouldn't know what to do if someone ever found out about the Uzumakis. Uzumaki Yondaime was Mrs. Dursley's brother and they haven't met for several years. In fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended that she didn't even have a brother because according to her, her brother was a freak. A freak among the ninjas of Konoha. And Mrs. Dursley hated him. And for the fact that he was weird, everyone seemed to like him better than she.

Her husband, Mr. Dursley was a big, beefy man—

"Hey, are you serious?!" Naruto butted in.

I said, Mr. Dursley was a—

"He's not just big and beefy! He's a fat ass! A big one! Didn't you even watch MY movie?! He's huge! Large, I tell you! You're describing him the wrong way!" Naruto said again.

Alright, so this Mr. Dursley was not only a large, beefy man but also a big fat ass. He's huge and had hardly any neck at all. He worked in Konoha as the owner of the Ichiraku Ramen. Mrs. Dursley on the other hand, was thin and blonde—

"And stupid, and always nagging at me, and always—"

Naruto! Just shut up! We won't get anywhere with this story if you keep on butting in!

So Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and used most of her free time tending her garden.

The Dursleys have a child whom they call Kisame and to their opinion, he was the best boy in the world.

That morning on his way to work, Mr. Dursley noticed something very unusual. There, on the Dursley's drive way was a black cat reading a map.

He thought that the lights were playing tricks on him so he looked again and to his relief, he saw no map.

While on the street on his way to his office, the traffic jam was building up very fast and every one seemed to be really annoying that day. On the street, Mr. Dursley saw several men and women who wore strange, unfashionable cloaks. He just grunted and thought, _'Maybe they're in some traveling circus or something.'_

At work, people were looking out of the windows and pointing at birds that perched on top of traffic lights, windows and buildings.

There were bird watchers everywhere and the strangest thing that Mr. Dursley encountered that day was a whisper, a whisper about Uzumaki Naruto. Someone called him a _'muggle' _and he didn't even know what the hell it meant!

Later that evening, Mr. Dursley talked to Mrs. Dursley about what happened to him today.

"Naruto…that's the name of your brother's son, isn't it?" he asked.

"A stupid name if you ask me! What kind of parent would name their son after fish cakes? That's stupid! I bet he was eating ramen when he made up that name."

"Yes, yes. It is a stupid name, I agree."

Then the two of them went to bed and before Mr. Dursley slept, he peeked at the window blinds first. He was confused and at the same time, frightened to see that the cat that he saw by his driveway that morning was still there. And it didn't even move—it was at that very same spot where he saw it that morning.

Then suddenly, an old man approached the black cat and all the street lamps turned off.

"Fancy seeing you here, Tsunade."

But of course, there was no cat there but a blonde woman who had her arms crossed together.

"How did you know that it was me, you pervert?"

"I've never seen a cat sit so still, Tsunade."

"And what's your role in this story? I'm prof McGonagall."

"I'm supposed to be Dumbledore, you know."

"Why are you here anyway?"

"I raise the same question to you. You should be celebrating for Lord Voldemorochimaru is dead!"

"Why is his name so long?"

"Alright, let's call him Vorochimaru."

"But even if You-Know-Who is dead, he has murdered the Uzumakis…only leaving Uzumaki Naruto behind. I wouldn't like to celebrate…not now. I pity them, Jiraiya. Especially their son."

"Aw, c'mon! why won't anyone call him by his name? Stop saying You-Know-Who. It's Voldemorochimaru!"

"Let's stop with this name thing already and stick with the script. Why are we here?"

"I'm having Kakashi play as Hagrid…he's supposed to bring Naruto here. We're going to leave the child in his Aunt's place…and he'll be treated as a normal person. If he lives in our world, he will be famous and he wouldn't have a normal childhood anymore."

"Alright, alright. Fine, where's that Kakashi anyway?"

"Oh, you know him, he's always late."

**3 hours later.**

"Is he here yet?"

"I think I heard something…"

"Is it him?"

"Oh, no. It was just a dog."

**Another 3 hours later…**

"Where the hell is that dude?! It's almost morning! We can't be seen here. "

"Oh, you know him, he's always late."

"Stop saying the same thing!"

A low, rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew louder and louder…and LOUDER!

It was louder than a dozen Air force jet planes taking off—and suddenly, out of nowhere, a huge motorcycle fell down from the sky!

"Aliens!!!!" Jiraiya screamed as he readied his wand to attack.

"Moron." Tsunade muttered under her breath. "It's Kakashi."

"Oh, ok…" then he kept his wand again.

"Kakashi! At last!!!" Jiraiya said.

"Sorry I got late. I was lost in the road of life." Then Kakashi handed him Naruto who was sleeping.

"He has this mark on his stomach," Kakashi said. "It's what You-Know-Who left for him."

"Poor child…But anyway, let's give him away now. We already saw him, nothing much to do right now. We should leave him now before the sun wakes up. People might see us." Jiraiya said.

Then the three of them turned to Uzumaki Naruto and said, "Good luck, Naruto." And they were gone.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Ok, so maybe I almost plagiarized the whole chapter from the book… but then again, it's a fanfic. Haha. Please review!!! :D But hey, it's my own version!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**The Vanishing Aquarium**

Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys woke up with little Naruto on their doorsteps. Time kept on passing by and things changed very quickly.

It was Kisame's birthday, Naruto's cousin.

They were no longer babies but young boys.

"Get up, Naruto! Don't be a fat ass like your uncle!"

Naruto woke up the instant he heard that screeching, annoying voice. His aunt was rapping on the door again.

"Are you up yet?!" she asked.

"Like I wouldn't be able to get up with that voice."

"Well, if you're awake now, look after the ramen by the stove! Don't over cook the noodles. I want everything perfect on Kisame's birthday."

"Someday, I will become hokage of this village and you and uncle and Kisame shall bow down to me! Believe it!"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, nothing…"

Naruto got up, careful not to bump his head on the low roof of his room—well it wasn't a room, as we all know. The cupboard under the stairs was where he slept. He got dressed and did what his aunt asked him to do.

Naruto and Kisame weren't really in good terms. Kisame was a really large green kid who liked violence and lots and lots and lots of gore. He and his friends, Hidan and Kakuzu used him as a punching bag whenever they would see him but of course, they couldn't catch Naruto because he was fast.

Mr. Dursley and Kisame went down now. They ate their breakfast then Kisame started counting his presents. He complained that he got less presents this year and started throwing a tantrum.

"Thirty-six?! That's two presents less than last year!" he screamed.

"Don't forget your aunt's present, Kisame-kun." Mrs. Dursley said.

"Alright, thirty-seven. But that's—"

"We'll buy you two more, honey."

"But—"

"And we'll go to sea world and see shamu."

"But—"

Then Naruto said, "I have a present for you, Kisame!"

"Oh, yeah? What is it?"

"Here," Naruto said, handing him a DVD copy of Finding Nemo.

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

"You'll find the shark's pledge really handy in sea world, you know." Then Naruto grinned inside. "Fish are friends, not food."

Then Kisame turned red with anger and started chasing Naruto away with the new weapon he got as a present.

"DAMN YOU, NARUTOOOOOO!!!!" he screamed.

o-o-o-o-o-o

A little later, everyone was seated in the car. They were on their way to sea world. When they were there and everyone was out of the car, Mr. Dursley went to Naruto and said,

"Any stupid thing you do—remember that! Don't get yourself into trouble, Naruto!"

"Yeah, whatever. The only trouble we could do here is if Kisame does something really stupid like sticking his butt to a water tank and farts. Then the fish will die."

"Shut up!"

"Ok."

After lunch, they went to the place where the penguins were kept.

"This is boring" Kisame said as he loaded his air gun and shot a helpless penguin.

"Let's go to the dolphins."

"And shoot more dolphins? Ok."

Naruto and Kisame went to the dolphin's aquarium together then Kisame started reloading his air gun again.

"I hate dolphins." Kisame muttered. "Sharks and dolphins are mortal enemies. Dolphins should die."

"So you like sharks?"

"Yeah." He said as he stood on top of the glass aquarium.

"Is that why you look like a shark."

"shut up." He said. Apparently, he was too busy shooting dolphins to get mad with what Naruto said.

A swift dolphin passed by beside Naruto behind the transparent glass wall that was still part of the dolphin aquarium. And Naruto saw it's eyes—it was talking to him!

"He's annoying, I know." Naruto told the dolphin, not sure if it could hear him or not. The dolphin was under Kisame, by the way. "Where are you from?" Naruto asked.

The dolphin used its tail to point at a sign.

"So you came from the pacific ocean?"

The dolphin gave him a nod.

"You must miss your friends there." Naruto said.

The dolphin nodded again.

But then suddenly, Kisame saw the dolphin below him. He was about to shoot it then Naruto said, "NOOOOOOO!!!" in slow mo.

And suddenly, the whole aquarium was gone and water gushed out everywhere. Kisame fell down since he was standing on the aquarium. A big dolphin swallowed him whole—and that was the end of him.

That night at Kisame's funeral, Mr. and Mrs. Dursley cried and cried. They approached Naruto and gave him an envelope.

"Here, take this." Mr. Dursley said.

"What's this?" Naruto asked.

"It's a letter from Hogwarts. You killed my son, you bastard! Go and live in that Hogwarts school of hell and get away from this house. Don't you ever return!"

"But I thought that you're not supposed to give me that letter yet. It's in the script, remember?"

"I don't care. We're jumping the script now that Kisame's dead!"

"So we're just going to skip chapters 3 and 4?"

"YES!!"

"But in the original story, we're supposed to get far away and hide. Aren't you even reading your scripts? Why are you even in this story? You're not even actors!"

"Shut up, someone named Kakashi is going to get you later at midnight. Now pack!"

**Later that midnight…**

"Where's Kakashi?"

"I don't know."

"Isn't he supposed to be here right now?"

"I don't know."

"What does he look like?"

"I don't know."

"Do you see him?"

"I don't know."

"Can't you answer anything but _I don't know_?"

"Know don't I."

**5 hours later…**

"It's a bird!"

"It's a plane!"

"No! It's a…a broom stick!"

Naruto took his bag and approached the landing man on the broom stick.

"Well you look like a ninja wizard…are you Kakashi?"

"Yes, I am Kakashi. Are you Naruto?"

"Uhu."

"Hmmnn…" Kakashi pondered aloud. "Prove it!"

"Well I have this mark—"

"On your forehead? I don't see a scar! You're not Harry Potter!"

"Well duh! I'm Naruto playing as Harry Potter."

"Oh, right…so how can you prove that you're Naruto?"

Naruto thought hard until he said, "Look at my belly." Then he started pulling up his shirt.

"H-hey!" Kakashi stopped him. "I'm not in to you!" he said. "I'm no pedophile!"

"I'm not going to strip in front of you, idiot." Then he pointed at the chakra seal on his belly. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto! Believe it!"

"Yeah, yeah. And I'm the sexiest man alive, believe it."

"And you're super late! We're supposed to meet five hours ago!"

"I saw a black cat today and I was afraid to cross it—because it's bad luck. so I went the other way."

"Really? Is that really bad luck?"

"Nah, not really. It's just my excuse for being late."

Then Naruto asked, "Mr. Kakashi…do you know my parents?"

"Oh, them? Yeah, yeah. I did."

"So…where are they?"

Kakashi looked at Naruto with heavy eyes and said, "I hate to tell you this but they're dead."

"They're dead?!"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. They got killed."

"By who?"

"By You-Know-Who. Didn't those muggles tell you anything about it?"

"Who is You-Know-Who? And what is a muggle?"

"Muggles are ordinary ninjas who don't have magic…Ninja Wizards like us are more special than just ninjas."

"But who is You-Know-Who?" Naruto asked again.

"Alright, I'll say his name. But don't make me say it again. He's Volde…Volde…shit, his name is so long I can't remember it."

"Voldemort? Is that his name?"

"No! It's something more worse. Fouler than Voldemort…it's at the tip of my tongue. Ah, yes! Voldemorochimaru!"

"Voldemoro…what?"

"Voldemorochimaru!"

"Ahhhh! You said his name twice."

"NOOOOOOO!!! I'm DOOOOOMED!!!"

"What's his name again?"

Kakashi said no more as he hailed a cab.

"Hey, don't you have a broom stick? Aren't we gonna use it?"

"Yeah, we are going to use it, silly." He said. "But your luggage is too heavy for the broom. We have to send it to the air port."

"Oh, okay."

So after putting address marks and names on Naruto's luggage, the bag was sent to the air port.

"Okay, C'mon. Let's go shopping!"

Naruto looked at him suspiciously.

"Shopping for your school supplies, I mean…hey, I'm not gay!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Diagonal Alley**

Naruto and Kakashi flew over London—just like Peter Pan and Wendy did. Except that they had a broom stick.

It was almost dawn because Kakashi fetched Naruto late. But it was a good thing since they were going to get to Diagonal Alley early.

"Hey, what's Diagonal Alley?" Naruto asked.

"It's where people buy stuff." Kakashi answered.

"Well I never heard of it before."

"It's because I haven't even told you anything about it yet."

"If its where people buy stuff, then that's where I'm going to get my school supplies, right?"

"Duh."

"But I don't have money…"

"D' ya think your parents left you with nothing?"

"Well if their house was destroyed by that dark, evil dude…then—"

"Why the hell would they keep their money in their house if there's a bank?"

"Wizards have banks? A-and my parents died and left me with money?"

"Yeah, wizards have banks."

"So…I'm rich?!"

"No, not really."

"Well if I don't have much money then how will I study in Hogwarts?"

"That's simple! You'll just have to clean up the whole school!"

"But—"

"It's not really that bad, you know. So here's what we're going to do today. We'll go shopping for all the stuff ya need and then I'll send you to Hogwarts. The plane leaves by seven in the evening."

"I'm riding an airplane?!"

"Yeah…whatever. Let's go to **The Gooey Cauldron** first. It's a famous place"

Then Kakashi landed his broomstick by some small, old dirty store. For a famous place, it looked quite shabby. And full of roaches. Hey, what the heck.

When the two of them entered, everyone in the pub seemed to know who Kakashi was.

"The usual, Kakashi?" the bar tender asked.

"Nah, I can't." Kakashi answered. "I have some important business to do here." Then he pointed at Naruto.

The bar tender looked at Naruto and gasped, "Good lord! Is it—it can't be!"

The Gooey Cauldron suddenly went still as they stared at Uzumaki Naruto.

"Uzumaki Naruto! What an honor." One man said. He hurried towards Naruto's side and seized his hands, tears in his eyes.

"Welcome back, Mr. Naruto. Welcome back!"

Then more people went to him and shook his hands. A pale, young man who had his long white hair tied up in a pony tail approached him. He was wearing eye glasses.

"T-h-h-h-arrry F-F-f-f-of-fer." The guy stammered.

"huh? Are you talking to me?" Naruto asked.

"Yes! You are T-h-h-h-ary F-f-f-f-of-fer, aren't Y-y-y-you?

"No, I'm not Tharry Foffer."

"Oh, I thought Y-y-you were my childh-h-h-hood friend."

"I'm Harry Potter."

"S-s-s-s-sorry. I usually jumbf-f-fle my words. And I st-t-t-ummer a lot-t-t-t."

"I'm Harry Potter but you can call me Naruto." He said again.

"I'm K-k-k-abb-uto. K-kabuto. I'll be T-t-teaching you D-d-defence Against T-t-t-he dark Arts in Hog-hor-warts"

Their short talk ended when Kakashi said, "Okay, enough of this greeting thing. We should be going now." Then he took Naruto's arm and dragged him out of the crowd. "I'm sorry but we're in a hurry now."

Then they went away. Not once in Uzumaki Naruto's life had he felt important. When Kakashi and him were far from Kabuto, Naruto asked, "Does he always talk like that?"

"He used to be normal…not until he went into the Dark Forest. Some say he was attacked by vampire and zombie ninjas."

Naruto didn't ask anything more as he watched Kakashi stare at the brick wall.

"So…what are we gonna do now?" Naruto asked when Kakashi kept on staring at the wall.

"There's supposed to be some kind of password." Kakashi replied. Then he kicked the wall—but it didn't budge. "Damn it," he muttered. "I forgot the password."

"Try open sesame." Naruto suggested.

So Kakashi faced the wall and shouted, "OPEN SESAME!"

Nothing happened.

"Aren't you supposed to hit the wall…or press some bricks?" Naruto asked.

"Hit the wall? That's a great idea!" so Kakashi punched the wall…and nothing happened.

"Aren't you a ninja wizard?"

"Yes, I am a ninja wizard."

"Then what are you waiting for? Do some magic already!"

So Kakashi took out his wand and waved it at the wall. "Bibidi Bobidi make this fucking wall a door…Bibidi bobidi boo!" But his magic was no use. "That's it, I give up!" Kakashi said. "Let's just climb the wall."

Since they were both ninjas, they just climbed the wall and jumped.

Tadaa! Diagonal Alley!

"I feel so stupid right now. Why didn't we think of climbing the wall first?" Naruto said.

"Shhh! I'm about to say my line!"

"Alright."

"Welcome, Naruto—to Diagonal Alley!

Naruto just stared at him.

"You're supposed to say 'ahhhh' and gape at the magical place."

"Ahhhhh!!" then Naruto gaped at the magical place.

The sun shone brightly on a stack of cauldrons outside on the nearest shops.

"We're going to get your money first." Kakashi said.

They passed more shops and then finally went into some old building called, **Grinninggrots**.

There were a pair of silver doors that faced them and it had words engraved upon them that said something about stealing and dying.

Then two goblins showed by the door. Kakashi said,

"We're here to take some money from Mr. Uzumaki Naruto's life savings."

"Do you have the key to his vault, sir?"

"Yeah," then Kakashi took out a key chain from his pocket which had 40 plus keys. "I think it's one of these keys." He said as he gave it to the goblin.

They climbed a cart which led them to Naruto's vault. It took them, like, FOREVER, to try almost all the keys that were on Kakashi's key chain. Until finally, the door opened and the goblin led them inside—Naruto gasped at what he saw. There were heaps of gold coins piled up in a corner and silver coins everywhere!

"Is it all MINE?" Naruto asked.

"uhm…yeah." Kakashi said. But you don't really own everything." Then he took one gold coin and silver bronze coins from the treasure and handed it to Naruto. "This is your share." Then he pointed at the heaps of gold, silver, and bronze coins in the vault. "And the rest are payments for your parent's taxes and your tuition fee in Hogwarts." Then he took out a really huge purse and filled it with gold coins and said, "These are for your school supplies and my payment for escorting you safely until you get to Hogwarts."

"Taxes? Payments? And I only get eight coins out of that pile of coins?!"

"Yeah."

"I won't let that happen! It's my fortune! Give me my lawyer!"

"In your dreams. Didn't I tell you awhile ago that you're going to clean up the school?"

"But—"

"Nyahhh, Shut up! Your parents didn't pay taxes when they were still alive. We even covered their funeral fees and more and more and more fees and bills and more!"

So anyway, after fighting over money, they went to Hogwart's vault. It was empty—or at least Naruto thought it was. Then at the middle, there was a small pouch. Kakashi took it.

"What's in there?"

"I can't tell you that. It's top secret." Then he said no more until they left the bank.

"Okay," he said. We're going to buy you your uniform." Then they went towards** Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occations **

"Hey Naruto," Kakashi said, "I have to go somewhere. Can you buy your own uniform?" then he gave Naruto five gold coins.

Naruto didn't want to be left alone in a place where he knew nothing about but he entered the shop anyway.

"Hogwarts?" the shop keeper asked.

Naruto nodded and the shop keeper led him to the back of the shop where the fitting room was.

Someone started measuring Naruto then suddenly, the boy beside him who was also fitting his Hogwarts uniform said, "Hello, Hogwarts too?"

"Are you blind? Don't you see my uniform? It says Hogwarts, idiot."

"Idiot, you say?! Well…well…you're an idiot too!"

"Hmph!"

"I bet idiots like you don't have broom sticks." The kid said.

Naruto laughed and said, "Why the hell would I want a broom stick?"

"Why the hell?! It's the best thing a wizard could ask for! Don't tell me you don't play Quiddich?"

"What's Quiddich? Is it another stupid game where you clean up your room with a broom stick? How lame!"

Then all of a sudden, in between their cat fight, Kakashi appeared by the window's shop.

"Hey, look at that man!" the kid said.

"Oh, him? He's Kakashi."

"I've heard of him…he's the one who buys 500ml of hair gel everyday, right?"

"Yeah, I think he does. How do you think he manages to keep up that hair do? He must use a lot of hair gel...or hair wax, for that matter."

"But why are you with him? Where are your parents?"

"Oh, them? They're dead."

"Oh, sorry. What's your name, by the way?"

But before Naruto could answer him, the person who was measuring uniforms said, "Okay, it's done. You can go to the counter now." She told Naruto.

So Naruto went away and paid his uniform. He approached Kakashi who was by the shop's window and said,

"Hey Mr. Ninja-wizard, what's quiddich?"

"WHAT?! You never heard anything about quiddich?"

"Well no. The idiot I met inside said that it was played with broom sticks. So what is quiddich?"

"It's a wizard sport, Naruto. It's like soccer but you ride broom sticks. You'll know more about it when you get to Hogwarts."

Then the two of them started roaming around the place and bought more stuff for Naruto.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you something." Kakashi said.

"What?"

"You're supposed to have an animal with you. Either an owl, a rat, or a toad."

"Are we going to get an owl? I want a white one—and I'll name it Hedwig!"

"No, we're not going to buy an owl. Since you know how to summon a toad, get used to it. You'll be summoning it in Hogwarts. Owls are just too expensive—and if you summon a toad, it's free."

Then they went to **Olivander's Wand Shop **where Naruto was going to get his very first wand.

"STOP!" the shop keeper said right after they entered the door. Then he sang, "in the name of loooove!"

Naruto sweat dropped. Did that guy just sing a high tune?

"Hey Kakashi! I saw your video in youtube! Nice video, by the way." Then he sang, "I'm too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat, what you think about thaaat!"

There was no mistake here. That Olivander shop keeper was gay.

"Uh, okay…" Naruto said, "I'm just here to get my wand Mr. Olivander-weirdo, sir."

"Alright!" he said as he tap danced across his shop to Naruto. "I know who you are!"

"Yeah, yeah. Everybody knows that. Just give me my wand—"

"You DO not understand the art of the wand!" he wailed. "You should sing for the wand, the passion of the wand! You should worship THE wand."

"Uh yeah…worship wand thingy…can we get over this, Mr. weirdo? I have to accomplish really important stuff right now."

"You will know the right wand for you. The wand chooses its owner…its master."

"How will it choose its master?"

"Simple, it just flies into you hands."

"Really? Well what are we waiting for? Let's do this!"

"Alright," he said, "But you should first recite the oath of the wand."

"What oath of the wand?"

"Repeat after me,"

"Ok."

"I," he said, "state your name, will take my wand from Olivander's Wand Shop and promise to take care of it."

"I," Naruto said, "Uzumaki Naruto, will take my wand from Olivander's Wand Shop and take care of it."

"Worship, and sing for it." He said

"Worship…and sing for it?" Naruto said

"You don't sound so sure. Say it again!" he said

"You don't sound so sure. Say it again!" Naruto said

"Stop repeating after me for a minute, Harry Potter and tell me that you shall worship and sing for your wand."

"Stop repeating after me for a minute, Harry Potter and tell me that you shall worship and sing for your wand."

"I said, stop it!"

"I said, stop it, you bloody gay wad!"

"Aha! That's not what I said. You didn't repeat after me!"

"Aha! That's not what I said. You didn't repeat after me! But you're still a bloody gay wad!"

"Dammmmnnnn you!!!" Olivander shouted. He was so angry that he pulled out a long powerful wand from his robe. "You will pay, you unworthy costumer! Never, never, never call me a bloody gay wad!"

"Dammmmnnnn you!" Naruto imitated. Then he pulled out some dirty laundry from his robe, pretending that it was his wand. "You will pay, you unworthy costumer! Never, never call me a bloody gay wad!"

Olivander waved his powerful wand and Naruto waved his dirty laundry too.

"Feel the menacing power of my wand!" Olivander screamed as purple smoke puffed out at the end of his wand.

"Feel the menacing power of dirty laundry!" Naruto screamed as green smoke and foul odor puffed out from the dirty piece of sock—or was that Kisame's underwear?

"Kame Hame Waaaave!!!" Olivander yelled as the purple smoke turned into some kind of energy ball made out of plasmic material.

"Rasengaaaaaan!" Naruto shouted as the green smoke and foul odor from the dirty laundry also turned into some kind of energy ball made out of plasmic material.

"Chidoriii!" Kakashi butted in.

"Hey, you're not even included in this fight!" Olivander said.

But when Olivander said that, he got distracted and the menacing power of Naruto's dirty laundry hit him in the nose.

"Aghhhh!!! The burning sensation! It BURNSSSSS!" he shouted. Then he exploded into rose petals and burned, and drowned, and was strangled by no one, and was eaten, and was drowned again, and choked, and fell down from the stairs which was weird since there wasn't a staircase at all, and all the wand shelves fell down, and he died.

Then Olivander's pink wand which puffs out purple smoke suddenly flew and landed on Naruto's hands.

"Congratulations, Naruto!" Kakashi said. "The pink wand chose you as its master!"

"B-but why?!"

"Because you defeated its master—Olivander. Poor guy, he died too soon. He never really liked dirty laundry anway."

"Oh…"

Then after murdering Olivander and leaving his shop into ruins, they went out.

"Okay, we'll leave for the air port now." Kakashi said as he mounted his broom.

So Naruto rode the broom and they went to the air port…

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

c'mon! review!!!! :D


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